


Tough nuts

by gr0ss_cl0wn



Category: Achievement Hunter
Genre: Fanfic, Fic, Other, Poor kids, minor sex tw, they immortal, tough nuts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-18
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-03-07 12:31:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18873277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gr0ss_cl0wn/pseuds/gr0ss_cl0wn
Summary: Running away from home before you can be legally classed as an adult is one thing, being locked into organised crime and being fucking good at it is another.





	Tough nuts

Now, Geoff Ramsey is a tough nut to crack. Especially when that nut is wealthy, sober and fucking dangerous. You can beat him, stab him, cut him, shoot him, torture him until his broken skin sweats blood and his eyes growl with his bared teeth. 

You can hit him with car after car and he’ll drag himself along the road with fleshy fingertips to pull the flesh off of your ankles with his teeth. He’ll pull his body out of every dumpster he’s left in, each coffin he’s destined for and every chair he’s tied to because he’s more than his body and he knows it and you better fucking know it. 

But Geoff Ramsey wasn’t always like this, no one is born like this. Jack Pattillo was especially not born like this, but even they can grab the tip of deaths poised scythe and slit his throat with it after the years. Even Jack Pattillo could be better the Geoff Ramsey. 

The beginnings always begin in training. Beginning are always sweaty, even when real beginnings aren’t. You have to earn that sweat, but beginnings don’t give a shit and will spritz you with some water and send you under the camera. But this isn’t a movie, because Geoff and Jack couldn’t afford even a shared cellphone between them and their cousins allowances; actually they couldn’t afford shit. They didn’t have allowances. 

This beginning begins at home, getting dressed. Not getting dressed for school in the morning like a real, normal beginning; this was a real, rebel beginning. They were putting on their gloves, their shitty backpacks, their ripped jeans and setting off at midnight. 

Off to Los Santos, where poor kids ran away from their real, rebellious, shitty beginnings and seek realer, rebellious, shitty, fun beginnings. Where poor kids follow the bus stops to a bus station to sleep underneath the buses. Where poor kids lose their virginity a week into their travels and forget the word ever existed after 2 more weeks. Where poor kids become rich kids because they stole a gals wallet and resold the overpriced thing.

Los Santos is a city you don’t wanna mess with. It’s fruit are tough nuts to crack and that’s why other tough nuts are drawn to it, but only the rotten nuts survive. The delicious male nuts get picked off the tree that is LS and get beat to death, the delicious female nuts get picked off the tree and get sold to hungry tummies. Rotten, misshaped, deformed nuts stay in the tree because no one wants to touch them, afraid they’ll get ill. That’s how it stays. 

Y’know, until an angry punk and a smart ginger roll up and cut the tree down, peeling the nuts from their tough outer shell and fucking them up with their unbrushed teeth. Forcing death to the back of the line and buying out the entire stock of tough nuts and delicious nuts alike. Why shouldn’t they, anyways? Nuts caused nut allergies.

The pair got hold of a gun, praising it like a god until the friends of the owner of that gun came to see why their henchman didn’t come back. And somehow, the trigger smart Jack and the punch heavy Geoff killed their way into more guns with cold dead fingers around them! Soon enough, more friends of owners came until the two wonder-fighters had themselves a recruitment letter in hand and a gang brand inked into their arm. 

Now, before you wanna enlist two ratty teens as your crew leaders you wanna tell them how the fuck to run a crew and to make sure they don’t stuff their ratty rucksacks with your blood money and ammo and run off into a sewer cover with their grubby little paws clutching your guns. But of course, who wants to listen to the disembodied narrator, huh?  
So the two clean, well fed, well armoured mutts clambered back to their alley and got jobs. 

Jobs in thrift stores, jobs in apprenticeship, jobs in gas stations, jobs as janitors, jobs where they had to clean shit and jobs where they got called shit, they got jobs. They lost jobs, they got enough money to rent a flat and then they got a job where it was so high-tier you needed an address to get employed. They levelled up, earned some money and got friends. 

A greasy, underfed, endangered mutt had been scratching at their door, asking for broken plate bits, Jack asked why and the mutt answered that he was going to make fake coke to sell and scatter before the addict opened the baggy. 

You scrounging little dickhead said Jack, as they opened the door wider and told the landlord they were housing for three, who was nice enough to not increase rent and donate some broken dish bits. Thank you said Jeremy, to which Jack replied fuck. 

What did your mom used to say? Sleepovers are just another mouth to feed at breakfast. Well, yours probably didn’t, how much food you ate at one part of the day probably wouldn’t even cross the mind of someone who didn’t run away from home with their best friend in search of wealth and acceptance. With Jeremy came Michael and with Michael came Gavin, the lads they called themselves but Geoff and Jack just called them newbies. 

Michael couldn’t have a car hit him time and time again but he could look at a nasty burn scar and poke it till it bled again; Gavin couldn’t handle near any amount of physical torture but he could get you to hand your valuables over mid-conversation; Jeremy couldn’t really reach the top of a dumpster but the kid could wield a knife like a Spartans spear. 

They pickpocketed, they bought a mini fridge. They stole, they bought another mattress. They mugged, they bought a tv. They robbed a gas station, they lost Gavin and Jack and the landlord rushed downstairs to find the tenants freaking the fuck out. What’s wrong, asked   
Ryan the landlord and Geoff the tenant said, Ryan the lonely son of a bitch who Geoff always did seem suspicious of offered to bail them out if he could join the gang. 

Suddenly the six of them had nicer furniture, a bigger tv, a real fridge and the not-destroyed flat was bringing in a steady flow as well as the break-ins and muggings. Soon Geoff and Jack covered up their previous gang tats and the six got their own logo, a rubber ducky. Represents how even in hot water they kept floating, and that Gavin squeaked. 

Soon the flat became rented out on both levels and their safe-house transformed into into a two story home in the good neighbourhood and the muggings turned into robbing gas stations, ransoming off low level gang leaders and other fun organised crime activities to do with friends. 

Months went by, no missing posters on the milk. A year went by, no surprise I’m home visits. Geoff and Jack were comfortable and their parents obviously were too; Geoff and Jack were comfortable and they hoped their parents were too. Living on the Los Santos tree is a bundle that includes watching the nuts on far branches never earn enough to survive, watching rich and delicious nuts stay on the branches and never being able to help. 

That’s why the two curb sleepers decided to stay. Not the crew, not the house, not the fun, well that’s a lie. They’d die if they left this lifestyle. But thats not the point, they were going to massacre every authority figure in this fucking town, and they’d do it guns blazing, friends screaming or they’d do it bare handed, drowning in my blood. They were immortal in this city but in this city they got fucking mortal.

**Author's Note:**

> By the way,, ‘getting mortal’ means getting absolutely fucked up but in a good way (like going out clubbing, you’d say you were getting mortal)  
> Also, this was fun to write. I like it when I don’t have to worry about speech marks and stuff. :)


End file.
